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(originally written & published on April 18, 2012)
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So this week marks the first anniversary of my Autism Daddy Facebook Page and last week I had the honor of being listed as one of the Top 30 Autism Blogs on babble.com. Because of this my page has been getting a lot of attention lately and I’m picking up new followers every day, 6300+ on my FB page and rising. So I feel this is the perfect opportunity to take a step back and tell you something that I’ve been meaning to write for a long time.
Here it is…
I don’t like reading things about autism that much. And I don’t like talking about autism all that much. I think I am very different than most people with autism FB pages and blogs. Nothing against them, but I feel different than most of the other pages & blogs I read.
First let’s dive into the other autism Facebook pages. Many of them are
AWESOME! And I’ve made a lot of great friends among them. But many seem like they are on FB a lot! Way more than me! They are reading other people’s blogs and promoting other people’s pages all day long. I could EASILY fall into that trap. When I first joined Facebook back in 2008 (as myself, not as AD) I was ADDICTED to it! I could easily spend hours on there! And in a small way it was kinda affecting me as a dad & husband….cutting into time that I should’ve been spending with my son & wife.
So I slowly weaned myself off of FB. Then when I started the Autism Daddy Facebook page in April 2011 I found myself getting addicted again.
I’ll admit it. I’m vain. I always wanted a lot of followers so I promoted my page all over FB. But I was starting to get addicted again. I was posting often and reading other Autism Pages and it was starting to get to me. Reading about autism all the time was starting to get to me.
So now my method is to come on, post something witty and then get the hell off of FB and then check it later in the day. I come from the school of “always leave them wanting more.”
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And the reason I’m writing this today is because as my page and blog have gotten more popular I get questions & requests from people all the time. Some folks want me to promote their page, some folks want to ask me questions on my opinion on this med or that treatment. And I will tell you honestly that I have a very hard time keeping up with it all.
Even on other autism blogs I notice that the authors of the blog very often reply to every comment or get involved in every discussion thread. I don’t do that for 2 reasons… (1) I don’t feel like I have the time… and (2) even if I did have the time, I don’t want to live & breathe autism every single minute of the day.
Now again, I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with the other autism blogs or fb pages. They are just definitely more involved than I am. Many of them take on the “autism warrior” persona which is awesome! We need warriors out there! I always position the wife & me as “autism rock stars” and just like a rock star I’m more vain, and more selfish than the warriors, and I want more non-autism time than the warriors. 🙂 And because of that I bet that many of the other autism pages/blogs are probably a better support system than mine.
Anyway, basically the main reason I’m writing is that people ask me questions and ask advice from me all the time lately and I feel bad when I can’t answer them all. So lately I barely answer any. I feel really bad about it…but I don’t want to get sucked down the rabbit hole of being on FB all day and/or answering emails all day.
So if you asked me a question and I haven’t responded, please forgive me. And if you’ve asked me to check out your page or to promote your page and I haven’t please forgive me. I’m giving out all I want to give right now. I’m really trying to do what I said above. Get on, write something quick, post it, and then get off and get back to work (at work) or get back to my family, which sometimes means just getting back to watching tv on the couch.
And lately because of my babble.com “top 30” FAME people have been contacting me to read their autism books and review them on my site, or to review their products/ apps. And if this page/blog was my full time job I’d be into that, but since I have another 40 hour a week job, reading a book about autism is honestly the LAST THING I’d want to do with my free time. I would love to somehow make a few extra bucks from this page (besides you all clicking on the ads at the top from time to time :-), but I don’t see any fortune rolling in anytime soon. So for now forgive me if I ignore your offers… but please feel free to keep sending them! Maybe one will peak my interest.
That’s all I got. I just felt like putting that out there cuz my inbox is getting filled with unanswered messages. And some of them sound really important and I want to answer, but then I’ll put it aside and never get back to it.
And then once in awhile someone will get lucky and just happen to hit me up on a day where I’m actively engaged in FB and I’ll promote their page and their “likes” will go thru the roof… or they’ll ask me a question at the right time that peaks my interest and I’ll answer them right away.
But again between this blog and my AD FB page and my son and his school and his behavior therapy and music therapy and all his other after school activities I’m up to my eyeballs in autism and I’ve got very little room for anymore.
So again forgive me if it seems like I’m ignoring your stuff.
That is all…
Peace be with you…
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If you’re gonna shop Amazon anyway, can I ask that you enter Amazon by using the search box above or by going to http://www.amazon.com/?tag=a050ef-20 This way I can make a little money to help pay for my son’s after school & weekend therapies. This blogging thing has been awesome & life changing for me… but I must admit that it’s taking up a lot more time than I ever thought… so if I can make a few bucks it’ll make it easier for me to justify….Love you all! Thanks!!
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Hi My name is Trevor Lee Watson I just read your blog about other guys just vanishing out of there autistic children's life I have been an avid follower of yours since I first saw your page on Facebook a few years ago trying to pick up some tips on what to do with my daughter. There mother and I have split over 4 years ago (it was a mutual decision) because our constant bickering was affecting and delaying our children s development especially our daughter who is autistic also. She was making no progression at all even with therapy. All that changed with in 3 months after our separation. She started talking not just pointing and flipping out but actually saying what she wanted I was saddened that this was our solution but I was thrilled that it was the key to her progression.. I use to drive 3 hours each way some times more depending on where mom was moving to just to pick up my kids each weekend and any spare moment I could have them make countless phone calls back and forth when something alarmed us about behavior or about what they have done that day to let the other half know so we could work as a team and find countless solutions… We would both bend over backwards for our children.. We make a good team but not under the same roof And It disturbs me a little bit that Men are chickening out on there children. If you can make them don't forsake them
hey,i totally understand what you are going through.i am also myself autistic and epileptic.I suffer depression,and drink 6 pills a day.i am transgendered too.i have 3 eye deseases and i used to suffer very strong OCD.i sometimes think that i can't go through another day of life,but then i read other people's experiences and i feel that i am not alone in this problem.i wish you the best of luck!! remember-you and your son are not alone!
I completely understand where you are coming from. I started my blog, Laughter, Could be the Missing Piece more as therapy for me. I am the one who needed it. I am thrilled when others read it and it tickles me when I get Likes on my Facebook page. Now that my kids are on vacation I am trying to figure out how to keep up the momentum. Thanks for sharing and catch you here and on Facebook.
I can fully understand and relate to what you said here. My son is 6 with severe non verbal Autism and I do read so much stuff but your page is one of my favourites. It is honest and straight to the point and just a pleasure to check in and read. Autism has consumed me a lot but we all need to find a balance in our lives. Thankyou for having a page that is inspiring to us all. You are understood! Kind regards….from Suzi in Australia….
I had to un-like a number of autism pages because they were eating up my wall all day every day…. i like that u post here and there and that the posts are "real".
I can see where you are coming from, it can be overwhelming to not get a break from autism. It is true though that the internet is a great way for people with autism to connect and look for help. There are a lot of great resources on the internet for autism like http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-pcs. My son has autism and as he has gotten older he has found a lot of friends through blogs and chat rooms that also have autism. It can be a real positive thing.
I found that when my son was young and every day was all about him, I didn't do any research about autism. It wasn't until he was older and I started worrying about his future that I became more involved. I don't blame you for putting up some constraints. You need a break from autism, not more autism! Nancy
I've actually noticed that you aren't on FB posting as much as most. I think that that's admirable and not an easy thing to do. Keep doing what you feel is right for you and your family. You've got it right, none of this compares to the importance of your family and it shouldn't!
Autism Daddy, you rock!
See, this is why I like you. I dig your approach to dealing with life and autism. I think it is healthy to not be completely immersed. And I'm sure I'll get some hateful comments about this, but many of the people contacting you are just trying to promote themselves so don't feel too bad about it. If you don't do it, they'll move to someone else who will.
haters gonna hate. I like the post and this comment.
i swear, you're my clone or the other way around, but we're just alike. i work 70-90 hours a week or more sometimes, every second of free time i have is precious and i'm my son's hero so we hang out and enjoy our time together. i've not read much about autism either but i'm going to win this fight, not by what i've read, but by embracing life with my son as God made him. we go to a prayer breakfast every saturday, he runs errands with me, when i'm here working on my house, he's out there hanging with me. my life has never been better. God wouldn't have given us this test if we weren't equiped to face the challenge. i'm right there with you, just wanted you to know that
That is why i love your fb page because you make us breath a little more, that there is more than autism. That my daughter is such more than a autistic child. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. From puerto rico.
I appreciate and respect your decision (not that it really matters) I think it is so hard but so important to have a balance in your life. Spending too much time living one aspect of your life is very draining and unhealthy. I have been trying to find that balance myself. Enjoy.
So, if I sent you a copy of The Magic Quest, a kid's novel about, well, magic, and NOT autism, but was written by my autistic nephew, would you read it?
I loved this post, and I'm glad I'm semi-retired, 'cause I can do a lot more reading and posting now.
I think sometimes it's hard to NOT respond to ppl, especially when they are sincere in their thoughts and are just looking for assurance that they're not alone, or that they're doing a good job being the parent of an autistic child, but it's equally important to keep living life off the net, as well as trying to be supportive. Yes the net can be addicting, but because it's a quick, convenient escape from the responsibility of reality. I appreciate your honesty, AD. 🙂